motion detection

Monday morning.

I unlock the door to my shared lab area and flip the light switch to the 'on' position. No change, still dark.

The lights are controlled by a motion detector, so when the initial flip of the switch doesn't work, I usually try moving around to set off the sensor. I walk around the office. Nothing.

I try going in and out of the room, hoping that entrance into the room might be more easily noticed. Nothing.

I do some more walking in circles, this time waving my arms. Again, nothing.

Ok, arm waving isn't enough. What next? Perhaps I'm not tall enough. So, I dance around, jumping up and down while my arms wave. Still, nothing. Hmm....

As a last resort, I stand on chairs and wave my arms. This is getting a little ridiculous, but the lights are still not on. Damn.

I give up, resigning myself to darkness.

After about two minutes of sitting in the dark, the lights come on. wtf?

I almost wish this was a practical joke, set up to catch me acting like a crazy person alone in a darkened office. At least that would make sense! Oh well, I'm glad the lights are on and now I can see.

i heart berkeley

Today I went home for lunch. As I headed down Berkeley Way, I was abruptly pulled out of a daydream when a man who looked like he never quite made it out of the 60s accused, "YOU LOOK NORMAL!!!"

He stared at me with wide eyes, and with concern and increasing desperation in his voice he added, "What are you doing in Berkeley? Get out! GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!"

I think perhaps he has lived too long in Berkeley.

in case of emergency

In case of emergency (ICE) is a programme that enables first responders, such as paramedics, firefighters, and police officers, to identify victims and contact their next of kin to obtain important medical information. It encourages people to enter emergency contacts in their cell phone address book under the name "ICE".

Apparently, my mom knew about this, and without telling me, entered her number into my phone as an emergency contact.

One day, my phone rang, and the screen flashed "ICE ICE". To my surprise, it was my mother. She explained the 'in case of emergency' plan, and I left her number listed as such.

Now every time she calls, "ICE ICE" appears on the screen. Invariably, Vanilla Ice's chart-topping hit, "Ice Ice Baby" gets stuck in my head. Thanks, Mom.

more facebook graffiti

Here is my most recent graffiti artwork:


Drawn for my mom


I think this one is a pretty good likeness. For comparison:

facebook graffiti

So, I spent entirely too much time creating Facebook Graffiti this weekend*. Although a huge time sink, I think this app is a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to matter how much time I put into the picture -- it always ends up looking like a five-year-old drew it. Alas, I still like them. Here are my not-so-masterful 'masterpieces':

*note: not all of these graffiti images were created this weekend.

Drawn for Alejandro - I asked him what graffiti picture I should draw him, and he said an igloo.


Drawn for Brian - I was jealous that he went to LA and ate delicious cupcakes without me. Mmmm.... cupcakes.....


Drawn for Julie - Sushi buddies are really important in my life. Sadly, one of mine (Julie) left Berkeley to go pursue her art career in New York.


Drawn for Linh - So Linh and Thu and I were at the Getty Museum. We saw this sculpture (see below left), and it reminded us of the UCSD Sun God (see below right). Ah, Sun God and Sun God Festival, when UCSD students worship a brightly colored chicken by drinking all day and acting like SDSU students for one day out of the year... those were the days....





Drawn for Brian - It turns out, it's not very hard to convince Brian to go to Disneyland.


Drawn for Brian - Because he likes rainbows and Muppets songs and pots of gold.


Drawn for Bella - We should probably finish this song. So far, this is our only verse. It's catchy though, eh?


So, that's all I have to say about Facebook Graffiti. If you have an excess amount of time on your hands, I'd recommend giving it a try.

post-quals

I spent too much time and energy during the quals process feeling incredibly bad about myself and about my ability to be a good grad student and scientist, but I've lost a lot of those feelings for the moment. I'm sure they're lurking somewhere, just waiting to come out when I have to prepare for my first thesis committee meeting or present at lab meeting or give a data blitz at Granlibakken, but at least they're not swimming around my head all the time anymore. What's funny is that now I actually am acting like a bad grad student and scientist. I haven't done anything since quals ended. I suppose I'll consider this to be a much needed break. The vacation ends today though. Back to life. Back to reality. Back to work. Back to science!

stressed and tired

So, I'm sitting here, in lab, all drugged out on caffeine, realizing that I've gotten too old for this "stay up late and work" sort of thing. I'm wondering if I should go home at this too-late-for-me hour, crash on the couch in the common area of Barker 210, curl up under my desk for a few hours of shut eye, or try to get some more work done. In any case, I'm taking a break. My mind needs to think about something else for a little while...

I did a Google image search for "stressed out," and found a lot of pictures of people and characters who look like I feel. I imagine I probably share their slightly crazy blood shot eyes, panicked expression, and overall tense demeanor. Lately, my friends tend to say things to me like, "are you doing okay?" or "you look stressed" or "you look tired." I've been told to "breathe" on several occasions. Apparently I'm not doing a good job at hiding my stress. Turns out makeup doesn't cover up that "deer in headlights" look.

Do you see the likeness?

great idea!

Ooooo! A shower curtain that doubles as a study guide?? Awesome! Now a morning shower doesn't have to be a waste of precious study time - it can be an opportunity for waking up the body AND the brain.

I think it's too late to take advantage of this great idea for quals, but there are ALWAYS things to learn. And, for that matter, it never hurts to brush up on those things that I used to know.

The question is, where do I get a shower curtain full of neurosciency info? A quick Google search tells me that they aren't readily available. Looks like I may have to make my own. This could be a fun summer project!


Hmm... now if only I could incorporate a coffee dispenser, I'd have the perfect morning wake-up system.

T.G.I.F.... NOT!

As an addendum to my "after quals" post, I'd like to add that I really miss Fridays. I miss all those good things that are normally associated with Fridays (lightheartedness, anticipation for the weekend, a general sense of excitement and happiness, etc.). After quals, I expect Fridays to be restored to their former status as being quite possibly the best day of the week. In just a few short weeks, I'll be able to gleefully sing the "Friday is My Favorite Day" song without the dread that now accompanies my Fridays. I can't wait. But, for now, I'm learning about high-gamma oscillations in lab on this lovely Friday night.

On an unrelated note, I think I'm going to make an effort to bring back the use of "psych!/sike!" and "not!" I think it's high time they started making more of an appearance in everyday language. Plus, they're hilarious to say (although potentially annoying to hear).

after quals...

after quals i will be a better family member, a better friend, a better teacher, a better grad student... a better person? after quals i will not be so stressed, so self centered, so absent-minded. after quals i'll read for leisure, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, eat healthy...

after quals i will do better, be better, feel better...

after quals.

after quals.

after quals....

But what will be the "more important" thing that comes up after quals? An abstract due? A poster to make? A paper to write? The thing is, there are always things that are more pressing, more urgent, more important, and it's so easy to put off those life-maintenance activities that seem unimportant at the moment, but may be really significant in terms of, well, life and happiness. I wish I could find a better balance.

I'm not so consumed with quals that I am completely blind to the big picture. In the grand scheme of things, this a tiny little sliver of my life, an unnoticeable blip in the world. But to me, right now, it seems like everything.

Three more weeks until quals.

anxiety!

Do you worry continually almost every day about both big and small problems, situations, events, and/or activities?

Do you have difficulty controlling your worries or anxieties?

Do you feel like you can't concentrate or that your mind goes blank at times?

Does your worrying interfere with your normal routines, work or school, and/or social activities?


If you answered "yes" to the above questions, you might have an anxiety disorder. I'm pretty sure that I have an anxiety disorder. And, I'm struggling with the idea of taking medication for it. I'm not sure why I feel so weird about it. I mean, if I have a headache, I take Advil. If I have a cold, I take TheraFlu. Why does taking anti-anxiety medication seem so different? Why does trying to curb excessive worry by taking a pill seem like a cop-out? Why does simply admitting that it's bad enough to warrant treatment make me feel like some sort of failure? Maybe that's all part of the disorder. Maybe getting rid of my general worry will also alleviate my concern for taking a drug to help with that worry. Maybe this will be a good thing. Maybe...

if i had a super power...

Flying, traveling at the speed of light, telekinesis, accelerated healing, invisibility, invulnerability, super strength, precognition... the list of potential superhuman powers goes on and on.

For a more comprehensive list of superhuman abilities:
Wikipedia: Superhuman Abilities in Fiction

Although many of these abilities sound pretty great, I think the fictional character whose power I am most envious of is Evie Garland from Out of this World. For those of you not familiar with this 80s sitcom, it's about an average teenage girl (Evie) who happens to be half-alien, half-human (see Out of This World (TV Series) to find out more). Evie's most appealing power is her ability to freeze time, which she does by touching her two index fingers together.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think having this power would be AWESOME. With this power, the can't-go-out-because-I-have-to-study/work/clean/read/etc. problem is solved in a touch of two fingers. My only real concern would be accelerated aging. I hope that frozen time wouldn't age you at the same rate that "normal" time does. Otherwise, I'm sure I would abuse the power and end up looking 60 by the time I turned 26.

Lately, I feel that I say some variant of the phrase "not enough time" several times a day. The time scarcity I have been faced with this semester has been an overwhelming source of stress, and has tended to dominate my thoughts. It's fun to fantasize about having the ability to create extra time so easily, but honestly, I really can't afford to spend any more time daydreaming about it. Oh, what I would give for that power... Oh well. Back to working at my snail speed!

To find out how you can develop super powers:
eHow: How to Get Super Powers

Also, I think Zack Morris had this time freezing ability as well, but only appeared to be able to use his ability for soliloquy purposes and not for anything particularly useful.

I'm pretty sure that "notworking" is also the main purpose of blog writing.

what kind of an imposter are YOU?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_Syndrome

http://xkcd.com/451/

cooking while drunk is almost never a good idea

A lot of people make bad decisions when drunk. Some sleep with inappropriate people, some do idiotic and reckless stunts, some become belligerent and get into fights... What do I do? I watch Disney movies and bake. Could be worse, right? WRONG! Sure, mixing up some cake batter and sticking it into the oven at 2 am *seems* benign enough. I mean, who doesn't want a freshly baked warm and delicious piece of cake to eat along with a fluffy movie after a night of drinking? I know I do. There are two key points that make this late night cake baking a bad idea: First, baking takes a relatively long time (30-35 minutes at least). Second, falling asleep on my couch takes a relatively short time. Independently, these are not huge issues. The combination, however, can be problematic. My thought process went something like this: "Oooo, cake sounds really yummy.... Hey, I have a box of cake mix. I should totally make cake!" After mixing up the batter, sticking it in the oven, and switching on a movie, I promptly fell asleep on my couch. I woke up a few hours later to the smell of burnt cake. I'm surprised (and maybe a little concerned) that my smoke detector did not go off. I tried eating the burnt cake, but it was not edible. So, I brushed my teeth and went to bed. I was pretty disappointed about the cake. Next time maybe I should try baking something that takes less time to cook. Cookies perhaps....

a little tipsy...

Interesting. I just got home and sent off the post I wrote earlier today. It's Friday night, I really should be studying for quals, and I'm a little drunk. As I often do when I get home from a bar, I popped in a ridiculously optimistic girly movie ("Enchanted" this time), and am watching it while I eat a shitload of carbs. I wonder if there is anything to the claim one of my friends makes that the Disney/chick flick optimism is detremental to children. Could believing in happy endings result in a twisted view of the world that can't ever possibly be lived up to? I hope not. But maybe if we all grew up thinking that the world is a shitty place and that things don't always work out, we would be pleasantly surprised if they did and not disappointed if they didn't. It's something to think about I guess.

let's see what happens...

Okay, so I haven't ever been able to successfully keep a blog/journal/diary/etc. at any point in my life. If history is a good predictor of the future, that does not bode well for this blog attempt. To be honest, this is my second try at this very blog. In October I wrote one entry and then promptly forgot about the blog's existence. Today I got the blog itch again, and, remembering that I had started one before, resurrected it, deleted the first entry, and am starting anew. We'll see how it goes...